It is difficult to speak of jealousy in relationships without mentioning envy. Jealousy is the fear of losing something or someone that really matters to us. Many people say they are jealous of another''s life and accomplishments. This is not jealousy. It is envy, which by definition is wanting something that someone else is or has. It is good to be clear about the two words which ultimately bring clarity about our own personal feelings. Experiencing jealousy is not easy. The feeling of fear is not an easy feeling.
Fear, envy, and jealousy can be useful. Healthy fear can save our lives and jealousy can tell us just how important another person is in our life. Healthy envy allows us to have role models and permits us to ask others for their guidance.
When envy and jealousy in relationships is insidious, extremely intense, or are habitual, it is important to realize they can destroy relationships and actually bring about the very thing that is feared. The difficulty is a feeling of insecurity which emanates from within. Even if it was instilled in us as children, it is still within us in the present moment. Extreme envy or jealousy does not permit us to focus on our problems and the issues at hand. It will cause inappropriate anger that needs to be worked out by us and not directed at another person.
Psychotherapy can help to reveal the problem. Hypnosis can help in this revelation and in breaking a destructive cycle.